I can't breathe out the right side of my face
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Randomize
