I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I'd cum for enchiladas.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
