I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize