He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I am one with the molecules
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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