JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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