well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
