Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize
