my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
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