I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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