I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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