If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
