You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
