I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
We don't watch enough power rangers
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
