Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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