you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
