when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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