Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize