Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
