6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Randomize