I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
The Olympian is in my bed
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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