All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
