you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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