he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
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