hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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