You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
