I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
