I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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