Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Houston, we have a squirter
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize
