you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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