I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
