bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize