You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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