Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
