**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
