He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
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