hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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