"it" just moved
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
