This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
