haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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