so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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