The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
