We got so high we made milksteak
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
