I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
