moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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