and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Randomize
