I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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