u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize