Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
