Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize