During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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