I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Randomize
