idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Why is there bacon in the couch?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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