She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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