I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
