My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
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