I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
