Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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