Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
