Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
