Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
