I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
